The Truth About Copper Hill
Talk about extensive workin's, " said the Man from Copper Hill;
"Why, you fellers don't know nothin', never have, an' never will.
"You kin shoot your tales of Leadville, of Australia and the Rand,
But them mines just scratched the surface--they was wormholes, understand?
"In the country that I come from, in my little minin' town,
We just called 'em placer workin's till we'd burrowed two miles down;
"Caes run a mile a minute, droppin' downwatd with a jerk,
But it took us half an hour to be lowered to our work.
"Oncet I'm kinda separated from the others on my shift
An' I finds I'm lost completely in an old, abandoned drift.
"Still I doesn't get excited--I kin feel my way about
Though I haven't got no matches an' my candle's flickered out.
"Seven days I grope in darkness, seven days in deepest gloom,
Till I kinda gets to thinkin' that the mine'll be my tomb.
"But at last I sees the glimmer of a distamt steady light
An' I pants an' stumbles to'rds it as it keeps on shinin' bright--
"Shinin' bright an' glowin' redder till it gets to be a glare
An'--I sees a bunch of devils that is stirrin' brimstone there!
"Boys I'm tellin' you I beat it--far away from such a spot,
All my weariness an' hunger an' my faintness is forgot.
"Through the dark I run regardless, scared them devil imps would find me,
Runnin' blind but always runnin', thinkin' fiends is just behind me.
"Never stoppin', never pausin', for a month or more I run
Till I feels the race is finished, till I knows I'm almost done.
"Then I bumps into a ladder. Weak an' feeble though I be,
Still I manages to climb itfor a day or two or three,
"Fearin' there's a fiend behind me with a red-hot iron fork,
Till I finds that I have landed--in the subways of New York!
"Talk about extensive workin's, talk of holes you think are big,
In the country that I come from, when we dig a mine we dig!"