I always keep quite sober--or at least I thought I could,
But I'm doubtful, at the moment, if it's true;
For at one o'clock this morning, so I understand, I stood
Peddling pencils on our smartest avenue,
Then I had a sweeper's cart and broom and uniform, at two,
While I diligently cleaned the streets of grime,
If you aks me for the reason I can only say to you,
"Well, it seemd a good idea--at the time!"
Somewhat later (so they tell me) I was going pretty good,
Dancing solo in a restaurant I knew,
Then to demonstrate my prowess and my manly hardihood,
I tried to wrestle with the bouncer and his crew.
When I got up from the pavement with my eye a trifle blue,
I announced myself a Master-Mind of Crime
And I hid behind a hydrant so as not to leave a clue--
Well, it seemed a good idea, at the time!
If I give you explanation, as undoubtedly I should,
Why I climbed up on a statue "for the view,"
Why I drove into a drugstore with a load of kindling wood
While the driver ate his early morning stew;
If you ask me why I battled with the seven coppers who
Interrupted inspirations so sublime,
I can only answer frankly--if you think an answer due--
"Well, it seemed a good idea at the time!"
Judge, I tell you on my honor, I am finished, I am through,
What I did had neither reason, sense nor rhyme,
In the cold gray morning-after, my performance looks askew--
But it seemed a good idea at the time!